By emily
Grade: Sad

Since the N is now my favorite TV network, I am seeing a lot more ads for menstrual products (and hair-braiding kits, and the upcoming season of Degrassi in which someone is totally going to die because Degrassi GOES THERE!) Most of these ads are for a new innovation from Kotex: Ultra-Thin, Ultra Quiet Pad Wrappers. These pad wrappers are so quiet, no one but you will ever be able to hear their delicate crinkle. Because we women hate having other women know that we bleed from the vagina each month. Wait, what? I'm sorry, but other than the poor insecure 12 year olds that this product is clearly targeted at, I am having a hard time imagining a consumer who would actually give a fuck about pad subtlety (besides ninjas). In fact, I don't even really understand why anyone uses pads. But more to the point: of all the embarrasing noises that can emanate from a bathroom stall, why is Kotex focusing on this one? MENSTRUAL SHAME, that's why. I think that this product was invented by the angry woman in my office who sends out a company-wide email every time she encounters an unflushed tampon. Ladies, we need to come to terms with the fact that our bodies do something a little bit gross, but that ALL OF US DO IT (except for the pregnant and postmenopausal) and therefore it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Pooping, on the other hand, is still strictly for men.