by emily
Grade: C+

You may be completely unsurprised to learn that the new Oxygen! network program The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency obscenely straddles the fine line between hilarious camp (see: ANTM) and unwatchable dreck (see: The Surreal Life). If you are a fan of the elastic-faced antics of The World's First Supermodel, it might be more rewarding to buy her forthcoming book -- which she discusses at length in this hilariously stupid interview -- than to actually watch this tv show, because the production values are so crappy. For example, in all the pre-recorded segments in which the producers try to give the show a narrative arc by making Janice explain herself directly to the camera, the focus is so cottony-soft that the shot is actually blurry. Seriously -- so blurry that you'll think, "Did my contact just fall out?" Also, the Oh! audience apparently is very old and poor, because most of the advertisements are for incontinence medication, debt consolidation, and Colonial Penn insurance. This can feel degrading. It can also remind you of how inadequate your Tivo-free lifestyle is. Strike two.

But here's the thing: I will watch a tv show just because a character continually spouts hilarious malapropisms. Imagine that! Here are the peak moments of last night's episodes (at least, those that I managed to watch before Henry's pleading that we watch anything, anything, even Rachel Ray but just please not this finally had an effect).

*Janice instructs the nervous models to take some "inhale/outhales."
* "I am so thrilled that you're from The Sudan, because Africa is my favorite place in the whole world."
* "I have two words for people who don't want to work with me. Out!"
* "Are we in agreeance?"

I also really liked the teaser before commercial break that went like this.
VO: "But before the Agency can even open for business, Janice must confront some profound challenges . . ."
(clip of Janice shouting): "YOUR FINGERS NEED BUFFING!"
VO: " . . . that will change everything."

Oh, fuck it, let's keep watching it. Are we in agreeance?