By B

Grade: B

I wish there were more to say about the “exclusive” establishment known as the Soho House, because Emily says I have to review it or else. You may have seen it featured on the episode of Sex and the City in which Kim Catrall wears the most hideous bathing suit ever. Actually, it is a sort of funny episode, but the central premise—that Carrie and company are forced to impersonate members of the club in order to gain entrance-- is totally ridiculous. Because, let’s face it, if I can make it past the front desk, there is no way that Carrie Bradshaw would need to go to such desperate lengths. (I know this is not a review of Sex and the City, but I just want to point out that this exemplifies one of my many pet peeves about the program: in some episodes, Carrie is a full fledged C-list celebrity, with a coterie of fancy friends such as Candace Bergen, and then in the next episode she is so wretched and obscure that she is forced to sneak into the Soho House.)

Anyway, there were not really any famous people there except for Queer Eye #4 (furniture). I was glad to finally see him in person for real, because I am always falsely spotting him on the subway etc and then it turns out to be a lesbian or a Polish person. Now that I have seen the real him, I will no longer make this mistake. My host also thought that he saw Jordan Catalano, but all white people with cornrows are not necessarily him, in my opinion. If it really was JC, then he has totally gone to seed.

I am not really going to bother picking on the soho house because that was pretty much covered by the gawker like a whole year ago, and plus i had a nice time. in the end, it was sort of exactly like a hotel bar, which is actually what it technically is, i guess. that's fine with me. i've always liked hotel bars, especially the one in boston where Margaret pretended to be Lisa Rosenthal. sorry emily! i know i am disappointing here... but i'm coming up blank. i could talk about the foosball table (pretentiously fake-anglo) or the membership card (pretentiously minimalist) or the waitress (sort of a bitch) but i don't think any of those things are too newsworthy.

The cocktail menu was sufficiently girly, and featured the most overcooked descriptions that I have ever read in my life. The word 'salubrious' was, in fact, used. This attention to detail was a little wasted considering that the drink I ordered was not the drink that I actually got. That was fine, though, because I was pretty much picking at random anyway.

In general, it was a pleasant enough experience. Mostly I think that it is for grownups, because the place was totally cleared out by two o’clock in the morning. I’m hoping to be invited back when it is swimming pool season, although the pool is supposedly very small. I don’t care as long as they have 'noodles'. I love those.