Moving from Cheer to Joy, From Joy to Awl

I met a girl at a party the other night who’s an actress with a stultifying day job, and she was telling me about how she sits at her desk and reads Gawker all day because “there is nothing else to do.”  She was I think a little shocked at the vehemence of my response to this, which I had to explain — she didn’t know I had worked there, and after I told her she probably did not think me any less of a crazy person.

Anyway, lucky for her, there is now something else to do!  Choire and Alex (Balk) are trying a brave experiment in, do we need another news aggregation site.  When they were first launching it I wasn’t sure that we did.  “Post-Twitter, we don’t need another aggregator blog,” was what I said to Choire, in an email.  I was wrong.  Turns out, it is really nice and useful to have two people who are so good at sifting through the dross of the entire Internet, and figuring out what’s actually important and interesting on it, sitting there all day and doing that.   Besides being great curators those two guys are very funny, though I don’t always agree with them.  And of course once in a while they or their columnists lapse into the kind of knee-jerk dismissive nastiness that dogs the medium — that actually, at this point, dogs the media.  But mostly I think they’re as aware as anybody can be of the avoidable pitfalls of internet writing.  And they are geniuses at coming up with tags and headlines — total disregard for search engine optimization a la “People are idiots and yet I am responding to that idiocy” will always be beautiful to me — and they have *never once* very rarely mentioned the Hipster Grifter.

Also they let me have an advice column, which so far has been kind of hit or miss, but the one about Twitter and the one about pot and the one about karaoke were all solid.  Though we are running through the areas of my expertise rather quickly.  Anyway, please send questions.

19 comments to Moving from Cheer to Joy, From Joy to Awl

  • Amanda

    “No one in the history of time has ever succeeded at the rap part of ‘Waterfalls’ except Lisa Left Eye Lopez and she’s dead, so.”

    OH. MY. GOD how can two little letters at the end of a sentence be so hilarious.

  • Amanda

    I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s sad that she died.

  • Dear Answer Lady,

    Why am I always running behind the times, just like this train?

    Signed,
    Late Again

  • dan

    Like in the ’90’s how guys would sit around in someone’s garage wearing flannel, guitars strewn around them cause they were going to make it as a band. But instead they would just sit around chugging beers saying stuff like, good times, and, what a ride, man, what a ride.

    Like that, right?

  • Dan

    Are you Emily Gould? The sociopathic ex-editor at Gawker

  • Dan

    boo hoo! somebody was mean to me, so i’m having panic attacks. poor little me. you made me take Xanax.

  • MUrtha

    I am both thrilled and amused that you made your name holding others up to cruel public ridicule and you had a nervous breakdown because people were “mean” to you. When you’re a c*nt, you better make sure you’re a tough c*nt, or there going to be some crying. well, boo hoo, bitch.

  • Aero

    Where should we send questions?

  • emily

    @Aero, emilymagazine at gmail

  • Wow! This comments section is so retro! Bring up how you thought Jimmy Kimmel owned Emily, people! You know you’re aching to.

    Anyhoo, nice to read you over there, Emily. My question: I have this friend of a friend who’s always at every party and insinuates himself into conversations even as I pointedly try to ignore him, only to suddenly bring up all this old shit just to fuck with me. I don’t know what his problem is, but in a sense, it doesn’t matter; all that matters is my response, right? Since that’s the only thing I can control? So my question is: what’s the best way to dispose of his body? Acid bath? Dumping into the river? Incorporation into an art piece at the Whitney?

  • surlybastard

    What was wrong with the hipster grifter story? I think you’re much too dismissive of our thirst (and need) for the schaedenfraude sites like Gawker provide.

  • Nothing on that site is “interesting and important”.

    Two people “sitting there and doing that all day” is pretty sad. I hope they do something else too.

  • Tim

    I think I heard once that any song can be made funny if a semi-inebriated Japanese business man does a Karaoke cover of it?

  • Filo

    Loved your self-indulgent turn as editor of Gawker; loved your self-indulgent NY Times aticle even more; love this self-indulgent blog; can’t wait for your self-indulgent memoir . . . Love you, Emily!

  • this be the truest shit u ever wrote:

    “Cause here is the thing: your friends are not going to come over and smoke *all* your pot. After they leave, you will still have some pot lying around. And then a couple of days later maybe it’s raining, and sure, you *could* go out, or, fuck it, you had a long day, you will just make some pasta and sit in front of the tv eating it and watching all the Millionaire Matchmaker episodes that you have DVRed and maybe you’ll smoke another bowl and make some weird snack that’s like, chocolate syrup inside a rolled-up flour tortilla. AND THEN SUDDENLY THAT IS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.”

  • I just read some of the stuff that Emily Gouldputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm (can I call you, “Emily Gouldputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm”? Too late!) wrote in her “Answer Lady” column, and hey…it’s the freshest, funniest, bawdiest stuff she’s written to date (in my humble opinion of course).

    And it’s also, to my mind, a fairly untapped niche on the ‘net. Can anyone else name a well-known internet-based advice columnist besides that goofball Cary Tennis over at Salon? (God I miss Garrison Keillor!)

    Maybe she (you know who I’m talking about: Emily…Gouldputty…de von Ausfern…schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm) should ditch this blog and try to develop that market. Maybe that’s what she was born to do: tell US what to do.

    I’m just sayin’.

  • Catherine

    Moving from Cheer to Joy, from Joy to All,
    I take a box
    And add it to my wild rice, my Cornish game hens.
    The slacked or shorted, basketed, identical
    Food-gathering flocks
    Are selves I overlook. Wisdom, said William James,

    Is learning what to overlook. And I am wise
    If that is wisdom.
    Yet somehow, as I buy All from these shelves
    And the boy takes it to my station wagon,
    What I’ve become
    Troubles me even if I shut my eyes.

    Were you alluding to Next Day, by Randall Jarrell? He is wonderful.

  • You know, I didn’t even see Casper’s comment when I made mine (how could I miss that?). Sorry Casper, you had it first!

  • KevinTran

    nice post

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